S1E01 - The Pants Tent

Larry's pants bunch up creating an awkward situation with Cheryl's friend at the cinema. Larry also manages to piss off Lewis' new girlfriend and Jeff's parents by calling Cheryl Hitler.

This episode is made, in my opinion, by the conversation Larry has with Lewis after he argues with his girlfriend. The dynamic and the conversation is foretelling what this entire series will be.

Conflicts:
The conflicts in this episodes were rather minor and we don't have the "one central conflict" that we have in most later episodes. I think keeping a tally is a bit silly but I'll consider it for major conflicts.

- Cheryl tells her friend that Larry is looking for someone to go to the cinema with, without consulting him.
Verdict: Larry is right here for sure. Cheryl is crazy for putting Larry in that situation and could've easily paused the call to ask Larry first.

- Larry gets upset at Jeff because he puts him on speaker phone and doesn't tell him his parents are listening it.
Verdict: Larry is obviously right. Telling you people are listening, especially on a private call with your best friend with older people you don't know listening in, is common sense.

- Larry gets angry at Lewis' girlfriend for begrudgingly moving to allow him to pass at the cinema.
Verdict: Larry gets a bit too angry at this minor thing most people will allow to slide. However Lewis' girlfriend is also a dick for making a big deal out of moving a little bit. No one is right here.

S1E02 - Ted and Mary

Larry and Cheryl meet a black-haired, happily-married Ted Danson and his wife Mary for bowling. It goes well enough that they're invited to a Paul Simon concert.

I completely forgot about this episode aside from the Barney's trip. I kinda had it in my head that they've been friends with Ted since forever, but guess not. A notably conflictless episode, the main one (them getting dis-invited to the concert because of Larry being grossed out after drinking from Mary's mother's cup) turning out to be a misunderstanding.

It was an alright episode but I think it could've benefited by even a single line by Larry saying why he's so grossed out by old people.

Quibbles:

- Larry orders a new pair of shoes from Barney's, after the bowling place loses his. He manages to get his shoes back from the person who took them, but then coincidentally meets the Barney's salesperson on the street (I've never been to LA but from this show I understand it's a small hamlet on the east coast). The salesperson gets very upset as he made a 'personal favour' to Larry (waiving the deposit) and now Larry won't buy the shoes. He even goes as far as to later refuse him an unrelated item return.
Verdict: In my opinion, Larry is fully within his right not to purchase the item even though he ordered it. It was not malicious so morally everything is fine, presuming Larry will indeed call them to cancel. In a world where he does not call, I think it's a bit of a dick move to leave the salesperson hanging like that. Because I can't be sure if Larry would indeed call, I'm not going to call it for him.

Larry - 2/2
Society - 0/2
Dinner parties thrown out of - 0/0

S1E03 - Porno Gil

Larry & Cheryl get lost on the way to a party by ex-pornstar Saul Goodman that Larry inadvertently got invited to. When they finally get there an hour late, they find out it's our very first dinner party. After the world's tamest porn story, Cheryl's WASP sense tingles and they decide they need to leave, but before Larry can do that that he gets kicked out. Also, Jeff asks Larry to take away his porn collection in case he dies, and for a joke Larry decides to watch some starring his ex-friend and the show finally gets to use its HBO nudity pass.

Quibbles:

- At the golf driving range, the guy next to Larry drops one of his balls and Larry won't pick it up for him. He later refuses to help them with directions to the party.
Larry is 100% in the right here. It'd be nice to pick up the ball, but the guy dropped it and Larry was in the middle of playing. He's under no obligation to pick it up, and the guy's response is way over the top.

- When entering the party, Larry refuses to take off his shoes even though the host tells him those are the house rules.
I think this is a first win for Society, though I'm a bit biased being a shoeless household myself. It's not a big deal to take your shoes off, and if it's the house rules that's that. Larry didn't have a good reason either, just saying his legs get a bit chilly. The host could've offered slippers, or even shoe coverings, but be it that it wasn't an option I think Larry loses this one.

Larry - 3/4
Society - 1/4
Dinner parties thrown out of - 1/1

A personal note: when Larry goes back to the party, he takes off his shoes outside. This is such a ridiculous thing since it negates the whole purpose of not wearing shoes in the house (keeping it clean). However I understand this behaviour since my dad did this exact same thing after I've told him we don't wear shoes in my apartment.
  

S1E04 - The Bracelet

Larry is distracted by football when Cheryl tries to talk to him after returning from a trip, upsetting her. Larry then tries to get her a bracelet she liked to get her to calm down.

However, the jewellery store staff doesn’t allow him in because he looks too shlubby and associates with Daniel Desario’s cousin who looks even shlubbier in this universe.

Eventually he gets Lewis to try to buy it, but not before getting lunch and quibbling about the tip. They get distracted by a blind man asking for some assistance and can’t get back to the store in time. When Larry tries to get to the store before Lewis (who wants the bracelet for his allegedly annoying girlfriend) his car gets blocked because of a tipping disagreement.

Quibbles:

- Upon seeing that the tip in the restaurant is divided between “waiter” and “captain”, Larry chooses to leave a large tip for the waiter and none for the captain. The captain finds this to be insulting.
Now, this is a heated one. I’m not American so Amercan tipping culture is already perplexing to me. I agree with Larry that letting you split the tip between different service givers in the same restaurant is ridiculous. However, the way he chose to deal with it (giving an extra tip to the waiter) is simply petty, and the “reasonable” thing was to do what Lewis suggested (give 10% to the captain and 20% to the waiter, if you’re going to give 30% either way).
On the other hand, it is clear to me that in this particular instance Larry was trying to make a point against this “moronic” new move in the restaurant-tipping complex, which I respect. Therefore I will select no one in this quibble.

- After Larry parks in an employee-only parking space, the restaurant “captain” blocks him in, and then refuses to move his car when Larry attempts to leave.
Again, we have an utterly disproportionate response to a real slight. The captain is upset about two things: that Larry parked in the employee-only spot, and that he did not give him a tip (and only to the waiter).

Parking in the employee-only spot is definitely a wrong move by Larry, though he was indeed parked only for 30 seconds and it’s not like it’s a disabled spot or a spot for a doctor. The bad tip goes back to our earlier point, though this time Larry puts forward the excuse that he “thought the waiter will share the tip”, transparently trying to shift the blame.

Looking at this with good faith, we can assume that the captain wouldn’t be a dick if only one of these things had occurred, but the combination sealed the deal. I wouldn’t frown too much on being prickly towards Larry or perhaps making him wait a little while, but essentially forcing him to keep his car there for the whole day is disproportionate and petty - even if he has a point. Larry barely squeaks by in this one.

Larry - 4/5
Society - 1/5
Dinner parties thrown out of - 1/1
  

S1E05 - Interior Decorator

Larry holds the elevator for a woman at the doctor’s office and because of the office’s policies gets delayed he is in turn delayed to an appointment with a chagrined Diane Keaton.

Larry also manages to piss off multiple parking attendants by not having enough change (oh the woes of the early 00s), and his lawyer since she bills him for an unprompted reading of a script he passed by her.

When the doctor’s office’s first-come-first-serve policy gets reversed, he is again late for a meeting with Diane Keaton.

Bit of a weird episode, a bunch of different small storylines, none of them I felt really hit too well.

Quibbles

- Larry is upset at the doctor’s office having a first-come-first-serve policy rather than a by-appointment-time policy.
Larry is not being fully honest here and only really wants to go first, that much is clear. Now, modern-day waiting rooms often have computerised queues which both optimise and obscure the process. The best system will probably be one in which they go by appointment time, and only if someone is late will they allow someone in because they arrived earlier. People have places to be and they make the appointment time in conjunction with that.

Larry’s complaint that the lady deliberately went before him is nonsense. Not only did she seem oblivious, she had no way of knowing Larry is going to the same doctor nor that the system is first-come-first-serve. So while I feel that Larry is technically correct here, both his motive and complaints are not valid, so I will give this to no one.

- Larry’s lawyer charges him for reading a script, without him having asked her to do so.
Larry is easily correct on this one. Why would he ask his lawyer to read a script? Why did she do it and then bill him for it? That’s so completely outside her job description. Open and shut case. That’ll be $2000.


Larry - 5/6
Society - 1/6
Dinner parties thrown out of - 1/1